Exhaustion — Poetry

I exhaust you
I exhaust me too —
this calamity of my mind
leaves a decimated forest in its wake
nothing beautiful flourishes here

And yet, you still love me —
despite the reign of terror
I unleash with voice and hands
the screaming, screaming
and objects aimed at your head —

I am a wildebeest!

In those moments of rage
I am engulfed by fire
my eyes frantically scan
for any exit in sight
but I cannot escape myself
I am trapped inside this mind
as much a hostage to my illness
as you are for loving me

I can’t make this fair for you —
no amount of wishing makes it go away
nor denial
it’s not a matter of if, but when
I will go off again —
How many times will you put out the fire?
How many times before we are both so exhausted
we are consumed by the flames?
Exhausted, exhausted
And die

©November 2013, Lori Carlson

What They Don’t Tell You — Poetry

What They Don’t Tell You

after the happily ever after
is how fast your life turns to grey

how you lose tiny pieces of yourself
first your voice —
nothing you have to say is ever that important
next your appeal —
you look nothing like the porn chicks he prefers
then your dignity takes a walk
followed by your self-respect —

and then you awaken one day with amnesia
you don’t know who the hell you are
nor why you are in this shitty marriage —
you are alone, friendless and jobless
in a dark hole with no help in sight

Marriage should come with warning signs
bells and whistles and quick exit doors —
or at the very least, a coffin in the bedroom
to practice death upon

©January 2014, Lori Carlson

I was reminded of this poem of mine after reading Patience’s poem

What They Don’t Say

It is enchantingly beautiful and hauntingly sad… Please have a read and support her blog LOVELETTERSTOAGHOST

He Is Risen — an Easter Poem

Through betrayal and denial
from those most trusted among you
through trial and accused
by those you came to save
you never gave up on love

Though they beat you
You arose to take more
for your purpose was not nearly done
there were still so many sins to atone

They mocked you
and called you “King of the Jews”
and you forgave them

They nailed you to a cross
and spat upon you
and you forgave them

What glorious love you showed
to those who despised you
what glorious joy you give
to those who love you

Even in death, your life
touched thousands who gathered
at your feet. And three days later…

“He is risen”

© March 2011, Lori Carlson