Day 6 – 30 Day Challenge

late again…

What is the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced?

The hardest is dealing with cancer and taking chemo. I was sick most of the time, slept a lot and had very little energy when I was awake. My immune system was shot all to hell. I’ve been over chemo since March, but my immune system still has not recovered. I haven’t had a serious cold in about 5 years, until this year… been sick for 3 weeks now. I would not wish chemo on anyone.

Daily Musing – This Day

From The Pocket Muse 2, today’s writing prompt:

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

~Annie Dillard, from This Writing Life

A little background information that I know about Annie Dillard. She was married to the writer and professor, Richard Dillard. Richard Dillard taught, at the time of my attendance, Writing and Literature at Hollins College (now Hollins University). His ex-wife, Annie, was a bit of a fascination to me because I wondered what drove her to marry a man like Richard, for whom I cared little as a student. I could only surmise that perhaps during the late 60s and early 70s when they were married, Richard was perhaps a different sort of man. Annie Dillard is best known for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.

And now for the Daily Musing… Monica Wood asks, “How will you spend this day?”

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My mind wants to dance and feel the rhythm of the beat, beat, beat in my head. Dance and twirl.. movements my feet can no longer perform. These poor feet still clouded with wool socks. O Chemo! what did you do to me? You’ve stolen my jazz, taken away my snazzy razzamatazz. There is nothing more I can do.

In reality, I will sleep the majority of my day away. Hopefully awakening at some midday o’clock and force myself to remain awake. The fatigue has returned and the pains in my abdomen, hips and legs. Not as intensely as before, but it is there and it frightens me. So I will call the oncologist today and report what I am experiencing. I am not sure if this should wait until October. Please, don’t let it be cancer again!

So this day, while my mind swings to its own beat, I will worry and pray — candles lit, prayer beads in hand, legs crossed as I chant.