The Heart Goes Missing

Powerful poeming and gorgeous rhymes… love, loss and broken hearts
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No Talent For Certainty

When all the towers you could build
Come tumbling to the ground,
When all the music you have loved
Becomes just so much sound

When all that you held precious is
Dismissed for someone new,
The heart goes missing for a time
There’s nothing you can do

Instead of heartbeats, there’s an aching
Constantly, inside;
In lieu of courage, emptiness,
Where once there was some pride

They say the heart is broken, but
There’s madness in its place:
I’d say the heart goes missing;
Numbness
Filling up
The space

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Sacrifice — a poem

Sacrifice

As a child, I drowned fireflies
in the river because I envisioned
them setting ablaze the forest like arsonists
I thought if I strained my ears
I could hear them sizzle like bacon on a grill
as they flopped about in the water
But they kicked their legs, belly-up
in the cascades of currents; leaves
their only life rafts, pulled them further downstream
their beacons flashed a silent SOS
When their glow softened to dull ochre
I gathered the ones closest to shore
tied strings about their tiny bodies
and as though they were hanged men
I sacrificed them to the trees

One summer, I overheard
that Sadie’s baby drowned in the river
while she fucked a married man
on the river’s bank. I imagined
the baby’s tiny body: arms flapping
like firefly wings as he gulped
water into his mouth; his immature lungs
expanding as he cried a silent alarm
and his too-large blue eyes staring blankly
into the world of trout and bass below
Alms to Nature

Now, floating down stream
inner thoughts bobbing
arms extended
I pay homage to the river
O sacred deity
I inhale and plunge backwards
into the cool recesses of its currents
As bubbles rise, my breath escapes; my lungs panic
Desperate Child
Yet the currents lift me
I surface unclaimed

© 1995, Lori Carlson

Laments of a Destitute Housewife — Poetry

1.
Sweet Jesus, what has become of me?
This tangled mop of hair
Loss of bit, an elephant’s girth—
Even I find me so repulsive
I’ve smashed mirrors
To hide my shame

2.
This world has swallowed me
Regurgitated the most vile parts
And paraded me for all to see—
Bystanders turn their heads
Even the curious deny me

3.
Is it any wonder I seek death?
To rid myself of this pain—
A heart dipped in lead
So heavy, so heavy
And these burdens burning my soul—
I am but ashes, ashes
And now, with the wind, even less so

©2014, Lori Carlson

A Valentine’s Dream — Poetry

A Valentine’s Dream

Only when I sleep
do I find you
slipping slowly
ever slowly
into my mind
there…
just a hushed breath
away from me
where you are always
leaning into me
your hot breath
sizzling my neck
your hands
encircling my waist
our bodies
crashing into one another
down down down
onto the bed
falling into one mass
searing kisses
leaving us heaving
our tongues
lapping
teasing
exploring
taunt ripe nipples
erecting toward me
Only there
my lips
searching your body
lands so rich
with honey-dripping
caramel-infusing
creamy undertones
of chocolate-lacing
intoxication
lapping at your essence
feeling you spasm
from waves of pleasure
Your hands
pulling me closer
ever closer
into you
legs wrapping
around my waist
and the moaning
moaning
consuming lust
And in that moment
looking up into your eyes
seeing your face flushed
your veins
popping around your neck
wide-eyed
staring back at me
waves of orgasms
tensing your abs
fluttering…
I know this is love
And as I wake
reeling in your afterglow
longing for just one more moment
I remember…
Happy Valentine’s Day, my darling

(c)February 2015, Lori Carlson

Two Thousand and Fourteen

~for TS~

You still linger there
On the cusp of thoughts
I’d longed to forget—
The way your smile
Enchanted me
Lips curled up—
You sucked on your lower lip
Whenever I entered the room
Your eyes left me naked
And vulnerable—
I still shiver
Not from embarrassment
But from the mere desire
I felt then
And now

I still wonder
Where you went for nine months
Why you left me
When I was so exposed
And alone—
Why did you chose midnight
Of the New Year
To return to me—
I couldn’t bear the pain
Of losing you all over again
So I ripped you from my heart
My life
But not my memory

We will always have College Street
And those six months of bliss
Even as my heart hardens
And these tears stain my face—
Will I ever find love again?

©January 2015, Lori Carlson

An Exercise in Imagery

Prompt: Color Personified

 

The House of My Childhood Wept

The house of my childhood wept —
inside, blue tears ran down paneled walls
a precise pool converged on sofa and chairs
All blue — smokey skies adorned the floor
down the hallway and up the stairs

Momma sat in her blue room
overcome by it —
loneliness bathed her in periwinkle
she inhaled and exhaled
breathing in the saltiness of Navy

One day Alice blue came to visit
and stayed —
she was subtle, barely noticeable
this house so blue
And she slithered down Momma’s body
settling between her toes

Momma was engulfed in blue
Alice whispered, just let go
With Momma’s last breath, Alice lingered upon her lips
And the house of my childhood wept

© 2013 Lori Carlson